No Parent Left Behind

By Mark Schreiber

I’m writing this article from inside my car, in a car wash. I bought all the extras, plus the undercarriage wash so that I’ll have time to tell you what I need too. Why I am in a car wash you ask?

Well, thanks for asking… let me tell you. It’s because of the spyware… It all started last week. I saw the ad pop up that said that I had won a free new IPod. Seriously, who can resist a free IPod? So, after I filled out the 2 surveys I clicked on that button that said it would make my computer faster… BAM! Kick it up a notch huh? Well, not exactly. Now my computer is running slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter… in the winter… in Alaska.

So, here I sit in the car wash so “they” don’t find me… ya… the spies. Can you think of a safer spot? I didn’t think so. Not only am I enclosed in my car, in a building, but I’m also covered with soap and that’s got to be worth something. Anyway, I’ve got the spyware on my computer and now I bet it’s letting in all of it’s other spy friends, from all over the globe.

So, what do I do now to get it all off of my computer? Well the soap doesn’t seem to be doing a thing but I do have some other options.

Spyware Cleaning Options:

1. Spybot Search and Destroy (make sure it is the safer-networking.org link) http://www.safer-networking.org/index2.html
   • This is a nice little program. Download it, Donate to keep it free, install it, and then do what the prompts say. It will get your computer “fairly clean” in no time.
2. AdAware (click on the Free version) ( www.lavasoft.com )
   • Good 2^nd option. I like to run them both… but then again I’m the paranoid one writing this from the above said car wash.
3. Bit Defender Online Scanner (or paste this link into your browser: http://www.bitdefender.com/scan8/# )
   • This one seems to take care of it all… viruses, Trojan horses, Spyware, Adware, you name it. Try the online scanner but make sure that you change the 2nd action to “quarantine” not delete (just in case it is something that you did want).
   • Currently Bit Defender is ranked in the top ten of many antivirus/antispyware articles!

If those don’t work you might go find a professional and let them take a gander, which would be the most prudent thing to do.

You could always take it to a car wash if, but it doesn’t seem to be helping mine… uh oh.. here come that final blower thing. I’ve got to go, until I get this Spyware all removed I’m going to have to go into hiding. I can’t afford anymore car washes.

Good luck, stay clean. Air Dry Done. … Got to go.

Last Links

Bit Defender Online Scanner (see above)

AdAware (see above)

Spybot Search and Destroy (see above)

Microsoft: What is Spyware (decent article on what spyware is and isn’t)

Going deeper: What is Spyware (very nice, concise article on spyware)